Specifically I am going to discuss the sports bra. At some point when women begin a more active lifestyle this is something that must be considered. And oh the time you will spend, the money you will spend, unless you are an A cup or less. Sorry you guys, it is what it is. And those of you that spent some time nursing the wee ones? You will have to keep focus during the hunt as well. You will also have to base the decision process on the type of activity you are interested in. Mostly I’m getting at, are you doing anything involving motion and bouncing like activities? You will have to lock those babies down. There are serious issues that could result otherwise. 1) It hurts. 2) It hurts to watch. 3) Gravity will take hold and there is just no hope.
Most sports bras fall into the same category, from A to ???. They are the uniboob bras. It’s like a tight, ill fitting, half tank top. It smushes the girls and you have this weird lump across the chest. If you are lucky enough to find one tight enough to lock them down, you won’t be able to breath and the back fat will be squished right out the back side. The A girls here can wear any cute lil thing from the TJMaxx clearance rack. The rest of us need to keep on the hunt. I’m not gonna lie, I want a cute one, too. I want one that doesn’t look like an industrial strength straight jacket from the back. (And I’ve had a couple of those.)
Once you find one that doesn’t mush the girls, or give you the godforbidden uniboob, and it holds you up just so and still allows you to breath, well then you have to get the damn thing on. I have one that has hooks and velcro straps. It took me entirely too long to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do with it. There is nothing pretty about getting it on either. You shake and shimmy and twist and turn. And still… it isn’t where it needs to be. I swear it is a workout just to get the damn thing on. But then… You have to get it off. A little sweat and some sore muscles and you have a recipe for disaster. If you are fortunate enough to have a child willing to help you out, you are golden. Otherwise, settle in for the fight and hope you don’t end up with your elbow smushed to your ear and the 3 year old thinking you are making up a new game.