I am a whiney bitch. Facebook sees a few too many negative kid updates or happy tequila posts. Might there be a pattern? I caught a bit of an interview on NPR the other day, "I love my kids, I hate my life." Eureka! That is a sentiment many times I can understand. I looked up the related New Yorker Magazine article and it mirrors many of my thoughts and feelings. One of the reasons I have not posted lately is because I feel like I need to be chipper and wax on about the positive things in my life. However, I really feel like pissing and moaning right now. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of fantastic things in my life, I just hate being the damned cheerleader all the time.

And there are so many people telling me that the children will be grown and gone in the blink of an eye... to enjoy it. Relish it. I do damnit. I love Jack's happy hugs. I love when Rian and I can have a quiet minute to chat and not argue. I love when Finn is so polite and asks ME how I'm doing. But I loathe spending hours in the kitchen cooking and cleaning some days. I feel like the laundry is going to be the end of me. I am tired of cleaning pee off toilet seats. My brain is on overload when they are asking me question after question and asking FOR something over and over. Rian turned 10 practically over night. I'm sure Jack will as well. In the meantime, I need to find a way to find a little bit of that shrinking leisure time to devote to myself. Enjoy a conversation with Alan. Not be wondering what I need to do next, which at this moment is to make dinner. And the song that Rian is playing on the piano downstairs while Jack sings his silly little song and Finn hums along playing with his cars is warming my heart. Really it is. Doesn't mean I want them upstairs under my feet though. ;)